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Manifest IV

В свете сегодняшних событий слышу мнения многих, кто пытается не доверять никакой информации в сети и придерживаться нейтралитета, о том, что якобы скорее всего текущая ситуация в мире - результат какого-то очередного глобального заговора. За которым стоит третья сторона, которой важно столкнуть лбами Россию и Украину или Россию и Запад. И что правдой может оказаться вообще какой-то другой вариант, а не те, которые мы видим в СМИ, и что кому-то это выгодно, и что все было давно уже оговорено заранее, и что правду мы не узнаем - ну и прочие консприрологические теории в том же духе.  И вот, что я скажу в ответ на все такие теории.  Что такое страна? Что ее основная составляющая? Народ. Именно люди, а не правительство, идеология и всякие организации. Есть глобальный заговор или нет, есть масонские ложи или нет, а все равно последнее слово должно быть за народом. Если люди сами решат вместе активно бороться до последнего - в первую очередь за себя, за свою свободу, а не за конкретного през
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My Manifest [02.2022]

Idk who will read this. Just wanted to express my thoughts here. I'm 26 now and always appreciated what I have and people around, was grateful for everything. Always tried to find positive aspects about every situation. Yes I was always content. Never complained or blamed others. Never asked for too much, never had high expectations or demands.  I love sunny weather and nature, love my job. All I want is to sit at the small coffee shop near my house with a cup or latte or cocoa and learn programming. To enjoy sunny weather and see blue sky out of my window, cuddle with my kitties or go to the gym. Is this too much? Is this luxury? Now my country is under attack. This is the real WW III. I can't believe what I see. Can't believe it's happening. Here. In my country. In my city and other cities too. It feels like a horrible dream and I can't wake up. My life has become a nightmare, my worst fears became reality and it seems to me my life is over. I'm not scared at
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Elections

I decided to speak out loud about the elections. And, since no one invites me to the TV shows as an expert in running my mouth, I just allow myself to do it here. After all, many of us are familiar with the situation when some stupid shit wins the elections and for whom neither we nor our friends voted, but in the end, this shit won anyway. There are also a lot of those who, after having voted for the next "well, this time he is they one we needed" soon want to flush this "the one we needed" down the toilet along with the acquired sense of shame for unjustified trust... The problem of dissatisfaction with the government, unfulfilled election promises, propaganda - it has been relevant for decades. But I have an idea. I think public election campaigning should not only be abolished, but also fucking prohibited by criminal law in any form. The state budget is tailored to it, it litters the brains of the whole society... Pay attention, the election campaigns almost alw
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Fav music of the year

Wumpscut, Acylum, Tactical Sekt, Psyclon Nine, Terrorfrequenz, Romy, ohGr, AngstSystem, Nephew, Ultima Thule, Sopor Aeternus, Dvar, Bazart, Jebroer, Lil Kleine, Ronnie Flex, Østkyst Hustlers, Vreid, Marilyn Manson, Gwen Stefani, Sade, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Shakira, Beyonce, Leona Lewis, Fergie, Rayelle, Monte Cazazza, Low, Volto, Mordacious, I Love Club Sluts, Kelis, Dani Corbalan, Deborah De Luca, Amelie Lens, Raubtier, Kill Hannah, Faderhead, Omnimar, Ciara, Iggy Azalea, Hurts, India Arie, Macy Gray, Janelle Monae, Lauryn Hills, Alicia Keys, Mary J. Blige, Joss Stone, Gargabe, Nicole Scherginzer, Eefje De Visser, Amy Winehouse, Ariana Grande, Ava Max, Letoya, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Amnesia Scanner, Is Ook Schitterend, Unter Null, Merzbow, Prurient, In This Moment, Theodor Bastard, The Birthday Massacre, Cinema Strange, Placebo, Desiderii Marginis, Raison D'Etre, Silentium, Sepa, Sjaak, Rbdjan, Medina, Kraantje Pappie, Spark!, Gunz For Hire, Bryan Kearney, C
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Позор

  Классическая история, депрессивный эпизод. В чем проблема? Я не могу его разлюбить. Я не хочу разлюбливать его. Я не хочу забывать его. Я не могу забыть о нем. Не могу не думать о нем. Не могу жить без него, и не хочу.  Не хочу верить в то, что он потерян, а я проиграла. Не хочу признавать свое поражение. И мне ничего не интересно, ничего не радует, ничего не увлекает. Мне очень больно. Все, как и вчера. Теперь насчет трудотерапии и других способов переключения внимания. У меня много работ и предостаточно дел. Но ни работа, ни учеба, ни отдых или путешествия, ни творчество не отвлекают от мыслей о нем. Я вижу и чувствую его везде. Чем бы я ни занималась, как бы сильно занята ни была, все равно 90% моих мыслей занимает именно он. Еще и снится по ночам. Он в каждом городе, в каждом районе, в каждом дыхании ветра, в музыке, в книгах, везде. Молитвы и медитации тоже не дали результата. Написала 2 книги, направив энергию в творческое русло, но не полегчало. Учу новое - тоже не помогает. О
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О братьях наших меньших

Наболело. В последнее время активизировались движения зоозащитников и волонтеров, помощь бездомным и больным животным масштабно растет, но все же, приюты только пополняются, а волонтеры не справляются с наплывом животных. А почему так? Я не хочу в это верить, на подсознательно ищу этому какое-то оправдание, но факт остается фактом: животных действительно нередко выгоняют на улицу, даже породистых и даже больных. Да, мне сложно поверить в то, что люди выгоняют больных котов и собак на улицу, которым требуется забота и помощь, когда понимают, что не могут за ними ухаживать. Выгоняют и тех, кто не отличается примерным поведением, что тоже случается гораздо чаще, чем хотелось бы. И братья наши меньшие остаются на произвол судьбы.   А еще на земле не перевелись живодеры, зверствам которых не найти никакого оправдания. Есть и люди, которые просто жестоко обращаются с животными в качестве воспитательных мер. И, к сожалению, меньше таких не становится. Для себя я сделала вот какие выводы... Пр
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Экстремальное похудение без вреда для здоровья: Памятка для желающих быстро сбросить вес

Afbeelding
Нет, я не успокоюсь, ибо недаром провела на себе столько экспериментов в поисках в поисках эффективной формулы для быстрого похудения. Перепробовав десятки диет, физических упражнений и всяких примочек типа жиросжигателей, массажей, обертываний, контрастного душа, антицеллюлитных кремов и прочей ереси, я наконец пришла к разгадке 👆 Но, прежде чем перейти к сути, скажу вот что: если вас устраивает ваш образ жизни, адекватный дефицит калорий, спорт, йога, танцы и классическое ПП, если вас устраивает похудение в течение года с потерей 1-2 кг в месяц, читмилы, легкие диеты на 1200 калорий и их результаты, эта статья не для вас и читать ее вам совершенно ни к чему. Бегите отсюда подальше. Если же вы - здоровый лентяй, который не любит спорт, либо недоволен результатами тренировок, весит Х килограмм и хочет похудеть на Х-15 кг,  но от любого огурца набирает вес из воздуха, возможно, вам пригодится мой опыт. Я ни в коем случае не говорю, что заниматься спортом не нужно, просто в некоторых за
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About phallometry

class HelloWorld { public static void main ( String [] args ) { System . out . println ( "Hello World!" ); } } I'm ashamed of writing this, but honestly, I've lost my ability to enjoy things and feel happy. I never feel happy anymore whatever I do. Of course I'm grateful for everything I have and of course I appreciate everything I have. I know there are millions of people who suffer more and have less, so I shouldn't be thinking negatively by default. But I'm not thinking negatively at all. Just realised that the older I become, the fewer things impress me. Even traveling no longer has the same effect on me as it did before. If I had traveled to the countries I recently visited a couple of years ago, I would have gotten much more impressions. No, I wasn't disappointed with my latests travels, they fully they met my expectations, but I can't feel their magic atmosphere any more. Never say "my/someone's else probl
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About Jupiter

Afbeelding
Let's talk about... Jupiter. Remember such a planet in our solar system? Remember it's the largest one of all 8-9 planets?  I would like to emphasize once again that  Jupiter's mass is 2.5 times that of all the other planets in the Solar System combined. It's unbelievably huge.  Remember the second largest planet after Jupiter? Saturn. These two are giants compared to the rest of celestial bodies in the solar system. Why did I mention these facts? Because although giants, both Jupiter and Saturn are gas planets. They have no solid surface, only a small core deep inside, while other planets do have ground. In addition, Jupiter is close to being a star but lack some characteristics and thus falls short of star status. In fact, it's a failed star.  So we have a huge gas giant, larger than all other planets, but empty, without solid ground, deprived of start status. While pretending to be the leader, it has no real advantages, it's a big dummy, that will never becom
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A post about something

There is no particular purpose in writing this post, but since I don't force anyone to read it, may it stay here. I experience constant depression and anxiety. I don't want to see anyone, don't want to do anything, my head always aches, I feel sick, I've lost my ability to enjoy things. Nothing makes me happy any more. No inspiration, no power. I'm afraid to stay home alone, at the same time I don't want to see my family or talk to them. I don't want to wake up at all, don't want to do any housework. Studying has become extremely hard and unbearable. Talking to people kills me. I only feel partial relief when I listen to the music, but I get tired of listening to the same stuff so I always have to search for new music and it's is hard enough to pick something worthy. Another thing that brings me relief is when I watch horror movies, but this is not something I could do all day long. I don't know where to go.  Don't want to come home, but I
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How To Lose Weight: Personal Experience

If your goal is extreme weight loss and you don't like or don't have time for gym, you will probably find my experience useful. To be honest, I'm not a fan of sports. I know this is the best way to stay healthy and maintain a good shape, but I don't have time and desire. All my gym is to run to the hotdog kiosk and back. Anyway, I found a way to lose weight quickly. If you have major health issues - for example, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes or kidney issues, ignore this post.  Looking ahead, I will say that the only efficient way to lose weight is not to eat, or eat as little as possible. With this said, losing weight without medicines will not work. A question arises - how to survive and not go insane? Especially when you need energy for work and daily routines. So here is the basic scheme. As for the menu : drink only liquids. Liquids only . This may be tea, coffee (with of without sugar), broth/soup, protein shakes, soda/cola zero (sugar-free) etc etc... As you
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Locatie: Driemondweg, 1108 Amsterdam, Nederland
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Types And Stages Of Hunger

Afbeelding
There are different types and stages of hunger. Types: 1. Emotional. You want some particular meal because it attracts you at a certain point of time. 2. Psychological. You are stressed or bored. Why not eat, indeed 3. Physical. Your body has run out of energy and necessary microelements Stages 1. You're feeling hungry but would still prefer some product over another if there was choice 2. You are ready to eat any type of meal 3. You are ready to eat a rat if it's well-cooked. Or let's say smoked worms 4. You are ready to eat a live/raw rat
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Neurochemical Agony

About neurochemical agony. I think I started experiencing the real adult problems only at the age of 24. Faced a totally new kind of agony. I don't know how to describe it precisely and how to name this awful symptom, so I will call it neurochemical agony. Or maybe this is how endogenous depression is displayed. First of all, endogenous depression doesn't depend on external circumstances. It occurs due to imbalance of certain substances in your brain. So it is caused by biological or genetic factors and can happen even if a person can be deemed objectively happy, successful or doesn't experience any major stress. So in my case the cause is also biological and runs at the neuroendocrine level. I would describe it as a mix of depression, anxiety and panic multiplied by 10 and it feels like your soul is being extorted and you are burning from the inside. It feels like the blackest despair, as if nothing good awaits for you and you have no future, you're feeling wasted and
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Wasted

I think I will die soon. My end is coming. Also, my life has lost any sense and became meaningless to me. Nothing can fill this emptiness, a galaxy-sized hole which cannot be covered by any miserable things. I'm afraid of this void most of all. Maybe I sound pessimistic although I'm not, but I don't see or feel anything ahead. It's about my 6th sense, no, let's call it intuition. There is no future ahead. I'm a person who has a lot of work and plenty of hobbies. I have friends. I'm grateful for what I have. Thanks God, thanks everyone. I love you all. But now I'm dead inside. Trying to fight, but there is nothing to fight for. A real samurai will not swing a sword in vain. Nothing left. My life is already taken. I'm wasted and buried alive. Torn apart. Thrown away. Feeling hopeless and miserable, lost and trapped and I can't break this loop. I can't breathe. Drowning and suffocating. My soul is devoured by this void. I wish I had no emotion
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My Struggle With Anorexia & Fasting Diary [Updated On A Daily Basis]

I'm writing this post during the quarantine and related restrictions. It's a mix of notes and a diary with my observations and achievements.    I update it on a regular basis, a few times a day  so that you could see my mistakes and avoid them. START DATE: April 12, 2020. Disclaimer : This is personal experience. Everyone needs an individual diet, as not all options are suitable for everyone. If you have health problems, for example, some cardiovascular disease, immunity/liver/kidney issues, diabetes, or other serious health issues, ignore this post because you need to consult your doctor first. In my case, at the beginning there was a completely healthy person, ready to boldly rush into the pool of diets, therefore, I cannot guarantee that a weak body can withstand such a torment. Those who care about their body and have been considering proper nutrition for a long time know that in order to maintain the desired weight or reduce it, the number of calories consumed sho
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Locatie: Amsterdam, Netherlands
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