Eat A Helicopter

I think I will die soon. My end is coming. Also, my life has lost any sense and became meaningless to me. Nothing can fill this emptiness, a galaxy-sized hole which cannot be covered by any miserable things. I'm afraid of this void most of all. Maybe I sound pessimistic although I'm not, but I don't see or feel anything ahead. It's about my 6th sense, no, let's call it intuition. There is no future ahead. I'm a person who has a lot of work and plenty of hobbies. I have friends. I'm grateful for what I have. Thanks God, thanks everyone. I love you all. But now I'm dead inside. Trying to fight, but there is nothing to fight for. A real samurai will not swing a sword in vain. Nothing left. My life is already taken. I'm wasted and buried alive. Torn apart. Thrown away. Feeling hopeless and miserable, lost and trapped and I can't break this loop. I can't breathe. Drowning and suffocating. My soul is devoured by this void. I wish I had no emotion...

I hate this country. I have never liked it here since the very childhood. Never felt here like home, even though this is my homeland. I don't belong here, this is not my place. Not my people at all. They are strangers to me. I can’t stand them. I don't want to see or hear them. They are like wild dogs, driven by a stupid herd instinct, a way thinking which is totally alien to me, another worldview, values and principles, some alien culture - strange and alien to me. Even their appearance, style and looks. I feel like I'm stuck in a parallel universe. I'm not one of them, no. I want to run away, fly away, disappear. The feeling of misanthropy is only growing. I hate them all, especially men. It’s hard for me to walk down the street and ride in public transport, because I get depressed and this doesn't let me go for a long time. All these places depress me and give me that gloomy vibe, I can’t change my attitude to this and I don’t want to change anything in my vie...