A post about something

There is no particular purpose in writing this post, but since I don't force anyone to read it, may it stay here.

I experience constant depression and anxiety. I don't want to see anyone, don't want to do anything, my head always aches, I feel sick, I've lost my ability to enjoy things. Nothing makes me happy any more. No inspiration, no power.

I'm afraid to stay home alone, at the same time I don't want to see my family or talk to them. I don't want to wake up at all, don't want to do any housework. Studying has become extremely hard and unbearable. Talking to people kills me.

I only feel partial relief when I listen to the music, but I get tired of listening to the same stuff so I always have to search for new music and it's is hard enough to pick something worthy. Another thing that brings me relief is when I watch horror movies, but this is not something I could do all day long.

I don't know where to go.  Don't want to come home, but I've already been everywhere. Shopping also helps me relax, but wasting money has never been a solution and I already have everything I have. 

I've worked with 3 psychiatrists, 2 psychologists, I've taken meds for a long time, but now meds won't help. And I feel lost, broken and absolutely helpless.

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