Eat A Helicopter

class HelloWorld { public static void main ( String [] args ) { System . out . println ( "Hello World!" ); } } I'm ashamed of writing this, but honestly, I've lost my ability to enjoy things and feel happy. I never feel happy anymore whatever I do. Of course I'm grateful for everything I have and of course I appreciate everything I have. I know there are millions of people who suffer more and have less, so I shouldn't be thinking negatively by default. But I'm not thinking negatively at all. Just realised that the older I become, the fewer things impress me. Even traveling no longer has the same effect on me as it did before. If I had traveled to the countries I recently visited a couple of years ago, I would have gotten much more impressions. No, I wasn't disappointed with my latests travels, they fully they met my expectations, but I can't feel their magic atmosphere any more. Never say "my/someone's else probl...

Let's talk about... Jupiter. Remember such a planet in our solar system? Remember it's the largest one of all 8-9 planets?  I would like to emphasize once again that  Jupiter's mass is 2.5 times that of all the other planets in the Solar System combined. It's unbelievably huge.  Remember the second largest planet after Jupiter? Saturn. These two are giants compared to the rest of celestial bodies in the solar system. Why did I mention these facts? Because although giants, both Jupiter and Saturn are gas planets. They have no solid surface, only a small core deep inside, while other planets do have ground. In addition, Jupiter is close to being a star but lack some characteristics and thus falls short of star status. In fact, it's a failed star.  So we have a huge gas giant, larger than all other planets, but empty, without solid ground, deprived of start status. While pretending to be the leader, it has no real advantages, it's a big dummy, that will never becom...

There is no particular purpose in writing this post, but since I don't force anyone to read it, may it stay here. I experience constant depression and anxiety. I don't want to see anyone, don't want to do anything, my head always aches, I feel sick, I've lost my ability to enjoy things. Nothing makes me happy any more. No inspiration, no power. I'm afraid to stay home alone, at the same time I don't want to see my family or talk to them. I don't want to wake up at all, don't want to do any housework. Studying has become extremely hard and unbearable. Talking to people kills me. I only feel partial relief when I listen to the music, but I get tired of listening to the same stuff so I always have to search for new music and it's is hard enough to pick something worthy. Another thing that brings me relief is when I watch horror movies, but this is not something I could do all day long. I don't know where to go.  Don't want to come home, but I...

If your goal is extreme weight loss and you don't like or don't have time for gym, you will probably find my experience useful. To be honest, I'm not a fan of sports. I know this is the best way to stay healthy and maintain a good shape, but I don't have time and desire. All my gym is to run to the hotdog kiosk and back. Anyway, I found a way to lose weight quickly. If you have major health issues - for example, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes or kidney issues, ignore this post.  Looking ahead, I will say that the only efficient way to lose weight is not to eat, or eat as little as possible. With this said, losing weight without medicines will not work. A question arises - how to survive and not go insane? Especially when you need energy for work and daily routines. So here is the basic scheme. As for the menu : drink only liquids. Liquids only . This may be tea, coffee (with of without sugar), broth/soup, protein shakes, soda/cola zero (sugar-free) etc etc... As you ...

There are different types and stages of hunger. Types: 1. Emotional. You want some particular meal because it attracts you at a certain point of time. 2. Psychological. You are stressed or bored. Why not eat, indeed 3. Physical. Your body has run out of energy and necessary microelements Stages 1. You're feeling hungry but would still prefer some product over another if there was choice 2. You are ready to eat any type of meal 3. You are ready to eat a rat if it's well-cooked. Or let's say smoked worms 4. You are ready to eat a live/raw rat

About neurochemical agony. I think I started experiencing the real adult problems only at the age of 24. Faced a totally new kind of agony. I don't know how to describe it precisely and how to name this awful symptom, so I will call it neurochemical agony. Or maybe this is how endogenous depression is displayed. First of all, endogenous depression doesn't depend on external circumstances. It occurs due to imbalance of certain substances in your brain. So it is caused by biological or genetic factors and can happen even if a person can be deemed objectively happy, successful or doesn't experience any major stress. So in my case the cause is also biological and runs at the neuroendocrine level. I would describe it as a mix of depression, anxiety and panic multiplied by 10 and it feels like your soul is being extorted and you are burning from the inside. It feels like the blackest despair, as if nothing good awaits for you and you have no future, you're feeling wasted and...

I think I will die soon. My end is coming. Also, my life has lost any sense and became meaningless to me. Nothing can fill this emptiness, a galaxy-sized hole which cannot be covered by any miserable things. I'm afraid of this void most of all. Maybe I sound pessimistic although I'm not, but I don't see or feel anything ahead. It's about my 6th sense, no, let's call it intuition. There is no future ahead. I'm a person who has a lot of work and plenty of hobbies. I have friends. I'm grateful for what I have. Thanks God, thanks everyone. I love you all. But now I'm dead inside. Trying to fight, but there is nothing to fight for. A real samurai will not swing a sword in vain. Nothing left. My life is already taken. I'm wasted and buried alive. Torn apart. Thrown away. Feeling hopeless and miserable, lost and trapped and I can't break this loop. I can't breathe. Drowning and suffocating. My soul is devoured by this void. I wish I had no emotion...

I'm writing this post during the quarantine and related restrictions. It's a mix of notes and a diary with my observations and achievements.    I update it on a regular basis, a few times a day  so that you could see my mistakes and avoid them. START DATE: April 12, 2020. Disclaimer : This is personal experience. Everyone needs an individual diet, as not all options are suitable for everyone. If you have health problems, for example, some cardiovascular disease, immunity/liver/kidney issues, diabetes, or other serious health issues, ignore this post because you need to consult your doctor first. In my case, at the beginning there was a completely healthy person, ready to boldly rush into the pool of diets, therefore, I cannot guarantee that a weak body can withstand such a torment. Those who care about their body and have been considering proper nutrition for a long time know that in order to maintain the desired weight or reduce it, the number of calories consum...

It hurts really bad. Tearing me apart. My soul is bleeding and I can't stand this excruciating pain any more. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe. Can't even cry, as my tears froze inside me. Everything I do is useless. I'm just wasting time. I feel like my heart has been torn out. Like I have a thousand knives inside. This loss is so hard to bear that my life lost its sense. It's pointless no matter what I do, as if I'm trying to cover a hole as large as the galaxy. I have no more reason to wake up. I don't know how to keep living without you, I can't move on. I don't want to live without you. I was ready to do everything, to change myself, to sacrifice myself and make you happy, to forgive, to concede, to protect you, to give you the last piece I have, to take care of your family, to support you, to be your shield, your blanket, your fire, your gun. I dedicated music to you. Maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe some of my mistakes were unfo...

I hate this country. I have never liked it here since the very childhood. Never felt here like home, even though this is my homeland. I don't belong here, this is not my place. Not my people at all. They are strangers to me. I can’t stand them. I don't want to see or hear them. They are like wild dogs, driven by a stupid herd instinct, a way thinking which is totally alien to me, another worldview, values and principles, some alien culture - strange and alien to me. Even their appearance, style and looks. I feel like I'm stuck in a parallel universe. I'm not one of them, no. I want to run away, fly away, disappear. The feeling of misanthropy is only growing. I hate them all, especially men. It’s hard for me to walk down the street and ride in public transport, because I get depressed and this doesn't let me go for a long time. All these places depress me and give me that gloomy vibe, I can’t change my attitude to this and I don’t want to change anything in my vie...