Eat A Helicopter

It hurts really bad. Tearing me apart. My soul is bleeding and I can't stand this excruciating pain any more. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe. Can't even cry, as my tears froze inside me. Everything I do is useless. I'm just wasting time. I feel like my heart has been torn out. Like I have a thousand knives inside. This loss is so hard to bear that my life lost its sense. It's pointless no matter what I do, as if I'm trying to cover a hole as large as the galaxy. I have no more reason to wake up. I don't know how to keep living without you, I can't move on. I don't want to live without you. I was ready to do everything, to change myself, to sacrifice myself and make you happy, to forgive, to concede, to protect you, to give you the last piece I have, to take care of your family, to support you, to be your shield, your blanket, your fire, your gun. I dedicated music to you. Maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe some of my mistakes were unfo...

I hate this country. I have never liked it here since the very childhood. Never felt here like home, even though this is my homeland. I don't belong here, this is not my place. Not my people at all. They are strangers to me. I can’t stand them. I don't want to see or hear them. They are like wild dogs, driven by a stupid herd instinct, a way thinking which is totally alien to me, another worldview, values and principles, some alien culture - strange and alien to me. Even their appearance, style and looks. I feel like I'm stuck in a parallel universe. I'm not one of them, no. I want to run away, fly away, disappear. The feeling of misanthropy is only growing. I hate them all, especially men. It’s hard for me to walk down the street and ride in public transport, because I get depressed and this doesn't let me go for a long time. All these places depress me and give me that gloomy vibe, I can’t change my attitude to this and I don’t want to change anything in my vie...